Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict

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If you want to be a mother, Elizabeth, you will find a way,” she said. “And if it doesn’t happen, you can, in the fullness of time, be at peace with that, too.” Having lots of friends meant you were loved, popular and safe. She was determined to become a Good Friend. And, in many ways, she did. Hearing her say this, I felt I could breathe for the first time in months. I allowed myself to believe that it was going to be OK. I loved how Day approach this concept, from her early years through to today, and how her friendships (and many of the readers - well certainly me!) have evolved. But it's also sprinkled with a lot of research studies and historical references on this type of relationship in comparison to romantic ones. Day describes herself as 'addicted' to friendship, and determined to be a 'good friend' because '...having lots of friends meant you were loved, popular and safe.' But the result of this was that she was exhausted (because she said 'yes' to everyone), and her personal boundaries were constantly tested. This lead her to consider the difference between quality and quantity. She goes on to explain how she rebalanced her friendships, alongside an exploration of the evolution of friendships, and the types of friendships we might have (the fun-night-out friend, the frenemy, and so on).

WH Auden wrote that “literary confessors are contemptible, like beggars who exhibit their sores for money”. We needn’t ask what he would make of the wellspring of confessional books on offer today, each hawking its own particular brand of self-laceration. A generous, companionable guide to a part of life every bit as crucial - and as fraught - as romance or family.’THE OBSERVER -

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And then, out of the blue, I was offered a free trip to Las Vegas. It came courtesy of an organisation called the British-American Project, which every year nominates several individuals under the age of 40 from both the UK and the US to attend a conference intended to foster “the special relationship”. I did the interview process and was selected as one of the 2014 intake. Please be aware that the delivery time frame may vary according to the area of delivery - the approximate delivery time is usually between 1-2 business days. Bestselling author, broadcaster and host of the hit podcast How to Fail, Elizabeth Day grew up wanting to make everyone like her. Then, when a global pandemic hit in 2020, she was one of thousands of people forced to reassess what friendship really meant to them. I spent a lot of my time reading this book and thinking "Yes that happened to me" or "OMG that's me" or "I do/did that", so I feel it's a sign of a good book when so much of it relates or I feel seen.

Elizabeth Day is an author, journalist and podcaster and if you’ve listened to her amazing podcasts How to Fail and more recently Best Friend Therapy, you’ll know she’s charming, witty and incredibly open. Friendaholic encapsulates all of that and more, and it’s my favourite book she’s written so far. With the crisis came a dawning realisation: her truest friends were not the ones she had been spending most time with. As a society, there is a tendency to elevate romantic love. But what about friendships? Aren’t they just as – if not more – important? So why is it hard to find the right words to express what these uniquely complex bonds mean to us? In Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, Elizabeth Day embarks on a journey to answer these questions. I also found the structure of the book slightly frustrating. I thought it was clever to have a different friend for each chapter and the inserted friend diaries from other people she'd interviewed were good too (though they should only have been inserted at the end of chapters not in the middle of one). Unfortunately, the friends don't stay to their chapters and some are far more interesting and more important for Day and hence pop up more regularly and say things of more interest. Because friends from later in the book pop up before their chapter I found the need for a cast list at the start of the book, like a Shakespearean play. I needed a reference to turn to every time Ellen but not Ellie or Lizzie, or Lisa, or Lou popped into the narrative. Was there a Becca and a Becs?

Friendship, particularly from a woman's perspective, is a fascinating relationship dynamic and as many of us have, I've been through a journey as I get older on how I value or measure friendship. Alternative parking is available nearby at the APCOA Cornwall Road Car Park (490 metres), subject to charges. Blue Badge parking at APCOA Cornwall Road I’ve never read a book about friendships before. This one really digs deep, is bravely revealing and makes me reflect on my own friendship habits, issues, and culture.” - Bernardine Evaristo